The 5 love languages for kids
“Whatever love language your child understands best, he needs it expressed one way— unconditionally” ~ Gary Chapman
With a greater emphasis on mental health in our culture, more and more books are being written about helping kids navigate the world of emotions. Parents have a very important role to play in helping their children self-regulate and understand the emotions that they are feeling.
As parents, we need to help our kids navigate their emotions with confidence. The greatest foundation for building this confidence in the lives of our children is by meeting their need to feel loved. Author Gary Chapman wrote The 5 Love Languages of Children “to help you give your children a greater experience of the love you have for them.” This book takes parents on a journey to discover their children’s love languages and provides them with strategies to put love on display through how their kids feel most loved.
Before we dive into the different love languages, there are some things we need to remember as we navigate our own emotions with our kids. Chapman outlines 7 reminders parents need to remember to help them on their parenting journey. These are listed to the right.
On the next page, we will cover the 5 different love languages outlined by Gary Chapman and their characteristics.
5 ways to determine your child’s love language.
One of the best ways to identify your child’s love language is through observation. Here is a list of five observations that will help you accurately understand your child’s love language.
- Observe how your child expresses love to you.
- Observe how your child expresses love to others.
- Listen to What your Child Requests Most often.
- Notice what your child most frequently complains about.
- Lead your child to make choices between two love languages.
Physical Touch
Though a hug might say “I love you” to all kids, for ones who adore physical touch, it shouts, “I LOVE YOU!”
- You feel most loved when you receive physical contact.
- physical touch speaks louder than words for these individuals
Words of Affirmation
Your words, how you say them and what you say ring loudest in these kids’ ears.
- Words of praise, encouragement and positive guidance all say, “I care about you”, to these children.
- These Children have a need to be affirmed out loud and authentically.
Quality Time
The most important thing to this individual is not the event itself but that you are doing something together, being together.
- This child feels most loved through focused undivided attention.
- Quality time is seen as the gift of presence and is what this child longs for most to feel loved.
Gifts
The giving and receiving of gifts can be a powerful expression of love.
- A well-thought-out gift is how this child feels most seen and loved.
- These children connect to the sentiment of the gift and cherish the gift as an expression of love.
Acts of Service
Doing for others, what they can not do for themselves is how this child most associates love.
- Loving service is an internally motivated desire to give one’s energy to others to show love.
- Using energy and resources to meet the needs of others is how this child expresses his greatest love.
Going Further
To go further visit 5lovelanguages.com to find more resources or take quizzes to help you determine the love language of each individual in your family.